CHAPTER 12: IT IS YOU I LOVE! ZUT ALORS!

Countess Fountainebleute fluttered about at Mayor Miller's gala event.  She said all the right things to all the right people but they hardly heard her.  She kept her rage hidden behind a nauseating demi-smile.

Everyone had crowded the stage between sets to have their photo taken with Red Madonna And The Red Madonnas. All iPhones were on the racy Russian rockers.

Even Verge was smitten by Red Madonna.  When she returned to the stage for the next set, she threw her headband and Verge caught it and clutched it to his heart.  The countess took him aside and demanded to know why he wasn't with Julia Miller, the Mayor's daughter.

"She has a boyfriend. She's in love with Henry Merci," Verge whined and tiptoed so he could see what Red Madonna was doing.

There was so much commotion in the club and on the pier that Mayor Miller was being pulled in all directions.  Reporters tried to corner him to ask if the helicopter that just landed on the roof was the FBI or the CIA and how he supposed harboring international fugitives was going to effect his political career.

Mayor Miller flatly remarked that he did not book bands, that his employee Henry Merci booked the talent. He pulled away from the nest of reporters and ran right into the countess. She demanded the head of Henry Merci on a plate.  Mayor Miller went out to the deck to fetch it for her.

Behind the club on the deck, Julia Miller and Henry Merci were on the verge of their first kiss.  Julia tied a ribbon from her hair around his wrist. Henry gave her his ponytail band and she put it on her wrist as if it was a bracelet of incalculable worth. 

As they leaned in for the first kiss, Petunia's wish, Mayor Miller and the countess collided in the space time continuum and prevented the kiss.

"Yuck! You are ugly, stupid and you have a bad smell! I never want to see you again," Crab Louis Le Roux V's consciousness was now inhabiting Henry Merci's body and these were his first words in his new body.

Henry Merci found his consciousness in a crab soaking in a bedpan full of Dom Perignon. In addition to the shock of being instantly transformed into a crab, he was slammed by acute alcohol poisoning as well. He lost his wits for a bit and made sounds like an old ice machine in a run down motel.

"God! Oh God! If ever, NOT NOW! NOT TONIGHT!" were Henry's first words as a crab. Helpless and horrified, he looked down and in the distance saw his former face rudely barking at his beloved Julia. That and the Dom Perignon were more than he could take. He passed out.

Julia wondered if Henry was saying the awful words to throw off her father. She held her wrist that wore his hair band to her heart.

"It is YOU I love!" Louis Le Roux spun his new body around so he was face to face with the furious Countess Victoria Fountanibleute.

The countess reared back and punched him so hard that he was knocked out cold.

~ TO BE CONTINUED ~

WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE: CRAB LOUIS LE ROUX THE FIFTH

WANTED

 

DEAD OR ALIVE

 

 

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO CAPTURE

 

THIS CRUSTACEAN

 

ON YOUR OWN

 

CRAB LOUIS LE ROUX V

 

IS SHARP AND DANGEROUS!

 

 



CRAB LOUIE V: CH 2: COUNTESS VICTORIA FOUNTAINEBLEUTE`

Everyone was excited about Mayor Miller's gala fundraising event, especially the Countess Victoria Von Van Dee La Fountainebleute` of Manhattan Beach.  There was to be a spectacular red, white and blue carpet. The arrivals were to be televised by all the major networks and tweeted to kingdom come in the great wide twitterverse.  There would be countless opportunities to be photographed during the dinner and afterwards at the ball.

The Countess was determined to use this fabulous party to spark a romance between her son Verge and Julia, the Mayor's beautiful daughter. 

At the very last moment the Countess had second thoughts about letting her own daughter attend the ball. Petunia was the sort of child that had to "grow on you".  Even then, she was the type of growth most people wanted removed.  Her hyperactive personality was not conducive to a romantic atmosphere.

The Countess took Petunia by the ear and thundered down the wooden pier with such forceful steps that the fish below scattered to find safety in deeper waters. 

~ To Be Continued ~ 

CRAB LOUIE V: CH 1: ONCE UPON A TIME

The Lamentable Life & Times

of

Crab Louis Le Roux The Fifth

or

OH HENRY!

"Innocence is like a dumb leper who has lost his bell, wandering the world, meaning no harm."

-Graham Green

Once upon a time there was a candidate for governor who owned many businesses on a pier in California where tourists often came to watch the sparkling Pacific Ocean while they dined.

One Christmas Eve he hosted a gala event, a fund raising party at his best restaurant, 101 CRABS, A JAZZ CLUB AND FINE DINING ESTABLISHMENT.

Mayor George Miller never did get elected governor.  Voter turn out was so low that no one got elected.

This  is the story of how California came to be such a laid back state and how love, sweet love, can turn anyone in to a raving maniac.  For, as the saying goes, the more one loves, the stronger the absurd grows.

 

~ To Be Continued ~

DAME J E MARSHALL PRODUCTIONS BRINGS YOU CRAB LOUIE V

A sweet romance,

A big adventure,

Plenty of danger,

Environmental changes,

A dose of mad science,

Several mysterious strangers,

A dead man,

And one badass crab.

FROM DAME JE MARSHALL PRODUCTIONS, THE STORY OF A BAD CRAB

"I'm a lonely little petunia in an onion patch..." the little girl sang like Doris Day as they sat on the windowsill and watched the people stroll on the pier below.

"Mercy! What nonsense! Now you are being silly! When have you ever been alone or experienced loneliness?  Marinate me at once!  I have had a shock! More wine!"  Louie Le Roux motioned with his claw for Petunia to pour more champagne into the bedpan.  She complied.  He sighed with relief and spit a little on the windowpane, as is a crab's habit.