The second to last thing Verge Fountainebleute did on this earth was lock lips with Red Madonna. He followed her out to the deck behind the club and lit her cigarette. He took the cigarette from her before she could take the first puff and threw it in the harbor. He kissed her for all he was worth. He kissed her so that she would stay kissed for all eternity.
"You choose me over powerful politician's beautiful daughter? I heard your wealthy mother insist you dance with girl or else," Red Madonna could not believe her luck.
"I choose you over everyone and everything. Oh my love, I choose you," Verge became his own man at last. In spite of the language barrier, he quickly confessed to Red Madonna that he was not the man he used to pretend to be.
"I'm just meeting you, so I have not the pleasure to meet the men you used to be but not really," she complained.
"And you never will! I am not my mother's son! I am not my sister's brother!" Verge spilled the beans as fast as he could before Red Madonna had to go back on stage for the last set. He told her how the Countess was a total fraud. She used to be the cleaning woman of Jules Verne, the writer who invented science fiction. At first she only borrowed his time machine to satisfy her greed, but her greed only grew bigger. She ended up stealing the time machine and began ransacking time, never satisfied, always wanting more. When she learned that Merlin had first invented the time machine, she went back in time and made him her flunky.
"This is a lot. I am dedicating new song to you about half of these things you are telling me for big song finale tonight. I am writing in my head as you speak," Red Madonna confessed her overwhelming distraction.
"The self-proclaimed "Countess" kidnapped me in the 1930's, then she kidnapped a sister for me from the 1960's. She brought us to 2001 to help her become the ruler of California! We began in Manhattan Beach. Ordinarily they don't like strangers in Manhattan Beach, but they welcomed her. She took care of an embarrassing need and she was discreet. She satisfied the need quickly, without fuss. The business of exporting the homeless was relatively new and the "Countess" had the means to corner the budding market.
Her first job was a homeless man who had the habit of taking a nap inside the public library. He liked to read and then sleep as long as they would let him. Sleeping in the library during the day was safer than sleeping on the street at night, not to mention the heating and air-conditioning, the restroom and the water fountain. He snored rather loudly. A wealthy man might have gotten away with it but he smelled bad.
For a reasonable fee, the "Countess" got rid of this embarrassing man without creating a scene. No one asked how she did it, they were just thrilled with the results.
Her second "export" was an annoying married couple. They were not homeless but they had the audacity to put on puppet shows on the pier that often insulted money. Mr. and Mrs. Merci had committed the unforgivable crime of making fun of money. They disappeared without a trace. The powers that be sighed with relief and soon the Countess found her dance card was full.
The thing the beach cities cherished most about Countess Fountainebleute's work was that there was no fallout. No one wanted the sort of backlash that this sort of business usually generated. The countess never failed. There were no returns. The communities sparkled and became more and more perfect. The undesirables simply vanished and unlike the programs which PAID the homeless to disappear, the Countess had a set up which allowed her to pocket 100% of the money. And it wasn't against the law. There was no law in this virgin territory. Transporting the homeless to the future was unheard of. In no time she added barking dogs. Real redwoods and palm trees vanished to make way for muddy-olive-green fake trees with panels jutting out of them. Whatever needed to go, went." Verge came up for air.
"Not to disrupt, but please a kiss to break my leg singing my new song about you, darling," Red Madonna laid one on him and then backed into the nightclub throwing kisses at Verge until she tripped on the amplifier wiring.
Mr. Greenpants Le Roux emerged from shadows sporting a kitchen knife he stole from the restaurant.
~ To Be Continued ~
No comments:
Post a Comment