The Magic Crystal Shop was a unique place owned by the Reverend Dr. John Lawrence OMG. He realized the countess was growing increasingly upset with him because all the potions he had created to cure Petunia's hyperactivity had failed to work. One day he sighed and whispered to himself, "Oh my god!" when he spotted her stomping down the pier towards his shop.
"I heard that!" The countess had a good ear. From then on she called him Dr. OMG.
The countess was owed favors by many. She had helped Dr. OMG set up shop so long ago that he had forgotten his real name. He was outside the shop teetering on a step ladder, hammering a new little sign above the shop door. This sign read, "Notary". Another read, "Justice Of The Peace" and yet another read, "Apothecary."
"I need you to watch her tonight," The countess announced.
"I have customers," he offered weakly, knowing the countess could care less.
"Well, then, get rid of them," the countess grew even more impatient.
He scrambled down the ladder, pushing back criminal thoughts about what damage he could do with the hammer in his hand.
Inside, two little boys were loading the counter with treasures they had found in the shop.
"It's him, Nikola, I'm sure it's him, only he is not himself. She did something to him. He's zombiefied," twelve year old Mark Twain elbowed twelve year old Nikola Tesla and started digging in his pockets for his notes and the words they were supposed to make the evil woman read aloud when they found her.
"If it is him, when she reads the incantation, it will break the spell," Nikola reminded Twain.
It had taken some calculations but it was well worth the bother. They had become such good friends as adults that they decided it would have been nice to have known each other as children and to dissolve the 21 year difference in their ages. Plus, it was the perfect disguise. No one would recognize them as children.
First Nikola went back in time and collected Mark when he was 12. Then he went back to collect himself at that very same age. They were given notes from their older selves so they could remember what they were supposed to do on the mission. Their older selves also provided them plenty of coins and simple items from the 1840's that would be easy to sell at coin shops at whatever place in the future they visited. What twelve year old boy would not love to be visited by his older self and asked to go on a time traveling mission with his best friend to find the missing wizard Merlin?
"The shop is closing now, you must go," Rev Dr. OMG announced nervously.
"But we haven't paid for our things," Nikola protested. He hadn't been able to check Dr. OMG with the meter that would reveal if his DNA matched the DNA their older selves had collected in Merlin's cave before they were born.
Rev Dr. OMG simply scooped up the treasures the boys had gathered, the real shark's teeth, the fart cushion and various items boys generally purchased and placed them in a paper bag without calculating the cost. He only hesitated briefly when he came upon the box of fine cigars but placed them in the bag as well because he just didn't have the energy to think about it. He pushed the bag towards the boys.
"But we didn't pay," young Mark Twain could not believe he was saying these words. Nikola giggled because it sounded funny to him too.
"It's alright. Now off with you. Use the other door. My tools are blocking this entrance," Rev Dr. OMG's shop had doors that opened on each side where the pier split and went different directions. The real reason he directed them to the other exit was to spare them running into the unpleasant countess. This was unfortunate because the boys had actually time traveled to this particular time in search of this evil woman. They didn't know what name she might be using. All they had was a sketch of her and surely she had changed her appearance over the centuries.
"Thanks mister," The boys chimed and reluctantly left the shop.
"We'll follow him and try again. In the meantime we'll have a cigar," Twain said, rummaging in the bag for the cigar box as they walked off in the opposite direction of the very lady they were looking for, the lady in the sketch their older selves had given them to help them recognize her.
Rev Dr. OMG locked the door behind the boys and went to the other door to let Petunia enter.
The countess left Petunia with Dr. OMG without thanks and without indicating when she might be back to collect her. She sent her son Verge off to the florist for a fresh corsage to present to the lovely Julia. On her way to make arrangements for a romantic gondola ride for Julia and Verge, she darted into yet another shop she had helped the owner open. This establishment was called "Ivanna Cut Your Hair". When the countess darkened the doorway to the hair salon, a hush fell. Ivanna herself left a customer she was attending so she could please the countess.
"Am I still beautiful?" The countess asked. It was a trick question and Ivanna knew it. She had just done her hair less than an hour ago.
"You look stunning, but come here and let me give you a another hand treatment with our new serum from Paris, an extra hand massage for that extra added glow of relaxation," Ivanna stammered. Talking to the countess was like navigating a minefield. The hardest part was trying to keep her face from contorting while she tried to look as if she actually liked the countess.
"I don't have time for that now!" The countess turned and left without saying goodbye.
When everyone was sure she was really gone, they all made faces, stuck out their tongues and made other impolite gestures to let off steam.
~ to be continued ~
