CRAB LOUIE V: Oh Henry

Henry Merci was hot on the trail of the vicious crab that had practically torn the thumbs off his good friend Chef Otis. As best he could with his bleeding hands wrapped in towels, Otis motioned towards the gondola that Henry had just left the elderly couple waiting in when he heard the awful clamoring in the kitchen.

Henry was mortified to see that his gondola was violently rocking. It was as if there had been a terrible earthquake, only his was the only boat in the harbor that was pitching to and fro.

Henry ran as fast as he could and then held the ramp rails to slide down faster than he could run. He stopped short and almost crashed into the disheveled elderly couple trying to work their way up the ramp.

"Did you see an awful crab with a broken heart tattoo that says, 'Vicky'?" Henry called after them and rested his hands on his knees to catch his breath.

"Yes we did and we are not coming back until you can prove it's gone. I don't mind telling you I don't approve of the language it used in front of my wife!" The elderly man patted and adjusted his Greek fisherman's cap and was thankful that it had not been lost in the fray. He recommended to his wife that she also check herself to be sure nothing important was missing.

"We will be waiting in the cocktail lounge trying to recapture the mood until you inform us that that vile creature has been incarcerated. I got a good look at him and will make myself available to testify in a line up if it comes to that," The elderly man took his wife's arm and they cautiously wobbled up the ramp and left the scene.

Henry went to inspect the gondola. He was on his belly with his head under the bench when what the old man said finally sank in. The old man had indicated that the crab had used language, foul language at that. The very idea made Henry's head rear up abruptly and smack hard against the bench he was under. It never works out well when large ideas come in tight quarters. Henry decided to rest there for a moment and think everything over from the beginning, calmly and rationally. The water slapping the boat about softly now was almost as comforting as he remembered being rocked in his parent's arms had been. How he missed them, especially with Christmas drawing near.

All of a sudden Henry thought he heard the voice of an angel.

"Oh, Henry! Oh, Henry! Why are you called 'Merci'? If you were truly of mercy made, would I be so starved for a kiss? Take a rich man's name so my dad will let us date or live up to your name and show me mercy tonight!" The beautiful Julia Miller whispered into the sea mist that was rolling into the harbor. She leaned on the deck railing and searched the heavens for a break in the clouds where she might find a star to wish upon.

Henry scrambled to his feet faster than a firecracker.

"Here I am! O God, Julia! I'm right here! I'll do anything you want, anything you need, anything! I'm right here! Oh! Julia!" Henry threw his arms up in the air with such enthusiasm that they almost flew out of their sockets. He managed to stay in one piece but fell out of the gondola and splashed into the black water of the harbor.

At the very moment, Mrs. Miller opened the sliding glass door and flooded the deck with sounds from the live band and the happy party guests.

"You're not wearing your sweater! You'll catch your death!" Mrs. Miller pulled her daughter inside.

Also at the same moment, Mayor George Miller rattled the ramp as he stomped down towards the gondola with the offspring of some of his wealthiest constituents and demanded that Henry produce himself to explain why the romantic gondola rides were so backed up.

~ To Be Continued ~

CRAB LOUIE V

Sunday, December 22, 2013

WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE: CRAB LOUIS LE ROUX THE FIFTH

CHAPTER 6: OH HENRY! OH HENRY! FOLLOW THAT CRAB!